oddities, thoughts and lucid dreams

To think I thought I could have loved you. Denial of self, I should have never gone after. Mended ideas, repented I have. Tormented scenes repeating in my head. Oh, the way it all should and could have been. Your farce, your pain, your lies, your tied heart and your deluded need for hoarding others' broken hopes. Our demise. Your derision. I will hold no grudge. Scoff ~ the path you walk leads to the pit of deception... this time, for me, has the sun come out.

Beating myself up for no reason. Wondering where I went wrong. self-sabotaging, filled with loathing and regret. Turns out, life has its way to let you know. have I learnt my lesson. Trust myself and what my heart whispers so clearly. No heart betrays its owner. Turns out, I'm not as messed up as I thought, I was never the one to blame. I knew from the beginning it wasn't me but I neglected myself. Never again. I'm not the one to blame. Liar, hypocrite, narcissistic, deluded, distorted, medicated. You won't remain unharmed. You'll pour ruin upon yourself. May 1st 2013 10.00am Markish