Falter

This time, lost as I am
In the midst of these recurrent memories
Damned hope, you should leave me for good.
My biggest fear has come true.

It’s not that I don’t want to scream
Not that I don’t want to run away
Not that I don’t want to fight
Not that I don’t want to be with you

Though I try, I falter.
This time I cannot compete
I cannot compete for you
I cannot compete against it.
I’ve understood.

There is someone to hold my hand so hard
But I can’t anchor to it.
I’m so frail and ashamed
I cannot fight when the battle’s won.

That night I certainly saw
There are so many things you just won’t do
That night was torture.

My heart broken to pieces while I act on a smile

Though I try, I falter.
Though I walk, I falter.
Even on the ground, I falter.
Even on my dreams, I falter.

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